Lonely Hearts Club: Dancing Through Transformation Without Losing the Beat

Introduction

Loneliness – the ultimate dance partner that never quite got the memo about personal space. While most folks shy away from this awkward companion, little do they know that loneliness is the unsung hero of transformation. So, while you may have been running away from this dance partner your whole life, imagine what it could be like to face the partner head on and dance with it through the lonely beats of self-discovery, all while avoiding the loneliness tango that threatens to swallow us whole.

Oh, dear sweet loneliness, you are that age-old companion we all try to avoid like the plague. But what if I told you that diving headfirst into the abyss of solitude during your personal transformation might just be the secret ingredient to emotional longevity? Cue the gasps and skeptical looks. Yes, I'm serious, and no, I haven't lost my marbles. Although if you are not yet a fellow loner (or soon-to-be ones), you are probably reading this with a healthy dose of "WTF is she talking about - sounds awful!"

I can honestly say for my entire life, I knew deep in my soul I was meant to be more alone that surrounded by others BUT at the same time I love being around people, it is where my baseline is most comfortable.  I grew up in a family with 3 sisters and we did most everything together as a family and with extended grandparents, aunts and uncles.  Sunday family brunch was a constant and Sunday dinners was definitely one of my favorite things.  So why the knowing for solitude when I was gratefully surrounded by so much.  You know, I think it was because when I was alone I slowly started to discover I could be exactly who I am.  I learned this early on when I traveled solo.  There was little expectation or thought of who I should be as I explored who I was.  And that was a serious thrill.  WHAT?!  No expectations, be who you are, feel free and quiet.  

Except I love my family dearly and would always end up back where I started.  At first I wasn't strong enough to implement the parts of me I learned to love when I was on the open road, but as I grew, I understood more and more about the potential of loneliness and how to accept that some may try to understand these parts of me and others might just give me a little side eye like "O that's wild, non-committal, a little bit wacky in her ways D". And at this stage of life, I don't mind it one bit, I laugh and embrace it knowing that I am just me as I am, until I am the next version with a little more felt dance moves under my belt.  

Sometimes it has been heart wrenchingly sad to feel so lonely but with the knowledge of what is on The Other Side (with Gypsy Hart haha) I crave the lonely because I know something beautiful waits for me.  

The Unlikely Catalyst for Transformation

Let's face it, folks – transformation is messy, like attempting to eat spaghetti with chopsticks. And what better way to fully immerse yourself in the chaos than by embracing the sweet, sweet solitude that comes with it? Who needs friends and family cheering you on when you can have the sweet symphony of silence punctuated by the occasional existential crisis?

So, why is loneliness the magical ingredient in the elixir of emotional longevity? Well, think of it as your personal cocoon of emotional metamorphosis. The more you sit in solitude, the more you shed those emotional layers, like a snake gracefully sloughing off its old skin. And who wouldn't want to be as sleek and emotionally resilient as a snake? It's the epitome of cool, right?

Picture this: You, alone in your room, basking in the sweet symphony of solitude. It's not a tragic solo; it's a transformational overture. Loneliness, my friends, is the DJ spinning the tracks of change. Embrace it, and you might find yourself tapping into a rhythm you never knew existed.

Transforming in solitude is like dancing in front of a mirror – at first, it feels awkward, and you question every move. But soon enough, you're grooving to a beat that's uniquely yours. Loneliness is the choreographer of your personal transformation, and let me tell you, it's got some killer moves up its sleeve.

Or you might not have any moves at all.  And that is where you know you have to go.  If you aren’t moving to the beat within yourself, not connecting to it.  Feeling frozen, stagnant, dead, or like you want to fight the movement, that is where you have to feel it out.  

The Misunderstood Art of Loneliness

Now, you might encounter some well-meaning individuals who just don't get it. "Why are you isolating yourself?" they ask with furrowed brows and a hint of genuine concern. Little do they know, you're not isolating; you're cultivating emotional independence, resilience, and stacking upon the version of you who was but now expanded in to more "you". It's like trying to explain the beauty of abstract art to someone who's convinced that stick figures are the pinnacle of artistic achievement.

Loneliness is your ticket to a VIP emotional experience, where you're the star of the show, and the audience consists of the deep recesses of your own mind. Who needs the constant chatter of social interaction when you can have meaningful conversations with the echo of your own thoughts? It's practically a party in there!

This part is always the hardest for me.  When people you know and care for deeply are witnessing or sitting on the sidelines of your shift in lifestyle or perspective and they wonder how they fit with this new beat - hell you might now even know the answer because you aren’t even sure what the beat is.  

The main suggestion I have tho is, as you waltz through the lonely corridors of self-discovery, don't let the solitude lead you into a dance of despair. Loneliness is a fantastic dance partner, but it's crucial to remember that this isn't a tango with despair and isolation. It's more of a salsa with introspection and growth.

Sure, the loneliness may try to sweep you off your feet but maintain your balance. Take breaks from the dance floor, reach out to friends "WHO GET IT" for a quick cha-cha, and remember that even the most epic dance party needs some intermissions.

That's right people, this is the hard part. Who do you reach out to when you are in the midst of some major shifts?  Are they expanders for you or are they old dance partners who don't understand your new beat.  Doesn't mean they can't in the future but in the cycle of loneliness, those old partners may just be the ones to pull who back to moves you no longer want to move to.  

Warning: Don't Let Loneliness Steal the Spotlight

Loneliness is like that enthusiastic dancer who wants to steal the spotlight and take over the entire performance. While it's an excellent catalyst for transformation, don't let it hog the stage. Remember to mingle with other emotions, invite joy and self-love to the dance party, and don't let loneliness become the unruly party crasher.

Navigating the Sea of Sarcasm from the Nay Sayers

Now, let's talk about the subtle art of using sarcasm as your emotional lifebuoy. When someone remarks, "You seem so lonely lately," just flash them a brilliant smile and reply, "Oh, you noticed? I'm just building my emotional fortress, you know, for those times when life decides to throw lemons, and I want to be prepared with a moat of solitude."

Conclusion

In conclusion, my fellow loners, let's raise a glass to the misunderstood brilliance of loneliness. While the world may not fully grasp the concept, we're here, thriving in our cocoon of emotional resilience. So, the next time someone gives you that sympathetic look, just remember – you're not lonely; you're simply on a solo mission to your own emotional grandness.